So much of life can feel like an act of forgetting and remembering and forgetting again. Of course, knowing what a me/self is can be such a complex and constructed thing, getting to a good place with what a me is is a whole lot of conversations… it’s the sort of thing that should be a lot of conversations! Society would often like us to shrink (Boot would like to remind us, Don’t Shrink). I’m often surprised by how often I need to remind myself that it’s ok to be me, and I’m often a much better person when I feel ok as me.
Figuring out how to be a me and what a me is can be very tricky sometimes. I sometimes think of myself as a sincere robot that hasn’t quite got all her punch cards (don’t worry, I like robots, and I especially love their sincerity, it’s not a slander). I construct extra punch cards for myself, based on experience, analysis and the sort of me that might be a good idea, and I like that me… although sometimes I let my me down and sometimes I get overwhelmed by the decisions that go into construction and the bits of me that keep being not what I want. Having a me is a complex thing and I certainly haven’t transcended it either!
But as I write this I see a little chickadee flitter up to my window, strike a magnificent pose on a bamboo stake (like a teeny tiny swashbuckler), grab a glossy black sunflower seed and flutter off. And I think to myself, the me in this moment, watching a chickadee be a chickadee, that’s a pretty good me.
Ok to be me, comic transcript
Thing 1: Sometimes I forget.