There are folks throughout my life that have described me in ways that aren’t how I see myself, in positive and negative ways. What I’m really letting myself feel these days is that how they see and describe me is not as interesting as everything else they say. Much better to listen to all the other bits but not attach. It’s wonderful to really feel in my body. How if I let go of how people might see me, or try to correct how they see me, there’s inevitably some good stuff or advice or healthy provocation in whatever the interaction is. Sometimes over time, if I neither accept or reject what a person says about me and just stay curious, there are fresh insights that can come (the whole Remove Judgement stuff I’ve written about helps to” . It also ties back to ways I train in Aikido, but that might be for another post! I’ve been thinking a bit about the pleasure that can be had when you let go of how others see you when they talk to you about yourself! Which, interestingly enough, can make it easier to do follow up questions, take risks, be sensitive to others and make amends. I’ve been thinking about how I’ve been frustrated by others who’ve got so fixated on how I might perceive them that they double down on behavior trying to prove themselves as good or right or whatever, rather than just be present for the information. I’m thinking of Jay Smooth’s wonderful (and quite old) YouTube video, How to Tell People They Sound Racist. So many people get caught up in trying to prove they’re a ‘good person’ they are not present for what’s actually going on and what’s actually being said to them.   [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Ti-gkJiXc[/embed] Again and again, I return to the idea that the more comfortable people can be in their own skin, in their own now without tangling it up in whatever disapproval or fear they’ve brought from the past, the better we all are. We are here, we are enough. If it’s scary to sit in your body, scary to sit with yourself, it’s nice let yourself observe it, be gentle with, to maybe take up meditation around, but don’t judge or get caught in the past around it either! Thanks to all my patrons and a special big extra thanks to Kate Webb, Erik Owomoyela, Stuart Barrow, Jesse the K, Brian Fies and Tracey Radford.  

Let Go of How Others See You Comic Transcript

A brown work boot sits and talks to us. Boot: Being seen in a certain way by a certain person, archetype or structure. Can be a nice dream to have, might be fuel for excellence. But on a fundamental level, it doesn’t matter. It’s your skin you live in, and no one can take that away from you. And it’s not something you can escape either.